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What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)?

NLP is an oceanic field of study and it is impossible to cover the entire subject in a few pages of text. However, it is possible to become familiar with the basics of NLP and to get an experiential glimpse of how powerful this technology really is:

The simplest definition of NP is that it is a set of tools which help in thinking differently – thinking differently leads to acting differently and finally to getting different and empowering results. This applies to all facets of life – relationships, business and health etc.

The important question then is: Are you really happy with what you are getting now? If your answer contains even a pinch of “NO” then NLP can give you the tools and techniques that would re-establish resourcefulness and get you from where you are to where ever you want to be.

Here is how NLP will help you achieve that

Defining your goal: Knowing precisely what you want in any given situation. 0nce you have an outcome (any outcome) you stop thinking about problem and shift your focus on refining your approach so as to receive the DESIRED outcome.

Fine tuning your senses:  Pay close attention to the world you live in and constantly work towards developing your sensory awareness towards finding out much more about how you and others act / react to certain stimuli

Being supple and flexible in thought, word and behavior: Constantly changing your approach until you get what you want. Keeping in mind that there is no failure – only feedback.  Also keeping in mind and being comfortable with the fact that the path that leads up to your goals is not always a straight one.

Building relationships and mastering the art of rapport: Others play an important part in your success and therefore, mastering the art of developing and deepening rapport with everyone (and at all levels) will take precedence over out dated, damaging and inefficient control tactics.

NLP can transform every aspect of human life, whether it is selling, negotiating, relationships, coaching, influencing, personal and team empowerment, motivation, recruiting and setting personal or professional targets ~ The Chrysalis Institute

Do you believe that there are personal barriers that stop you from achieving your biggest goals? Truth is that self-created barriers exist and overcoming them is important to success. Some barriers may be conscious while others may function from behind the curtains.

These tools and techniques lie at the very heart of NLP. It teaches YOU the skill of noticing how you and others think, what words and gestures are used, eliciting conscious / unconscious patterns that hold you (and others) back and finally making relevant changes in your thoughts, words, attitude and behaviors that would get the cogs of positive change to churn.

Communication is not all that easy without NLP. We all know that getting others to understand us and appropriately react is a challenge.  Have you noticed that regardless of how careful you are with your words, people still manage to misunderstand you? It’s no longer viable to blame others for misunderstanding you. THESE NLP ideas and tools can help you take responsibility for the responses you are getting with the aim of achieving your desired outcome.

Communication is more than just words. In fact only 7% of all communication is carried out through words. THESE NLP ideas teach us how to harness the immense communicative powers of body language, gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice so as to become an even more powerful communicator. NLP also shows us how to gain insight into other people’s mental patterns, motives, mental filters, beliefs, barriers and emotions by observing their body language and tone.

Our senses are not only just used to interact with the world – they also help us to internally represent, assimilate and make SENSE of our experiences. In other words, we use our senses to interact with what’s outside and ALSO with what’s inside. Out of the five sensory representational systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory) one is always the most dominant. Finding out how you internally represent the world to yourself and also how others represent the world to themselves is a more than handy tool in communicating, influencing, leading, motivating and negotiating successfully.

What are Metaprograms? It is impossible for us to take in every bit of information that comes our way. Therefore, each of us have developed mental filters (or metaprograms) that help in leaving out the unimportant bits of information. These metaprograms play their role by operating behind the scenes like a computer software – these are our preferred ways to thinking and functioning in the world. These metaprograms are usually reflected in the way we behave and use our language. NLP teaches us how to identify and work with metaprograms in a way that would get your goals met.

NLP is a globally set of transformational tools that are geared towards making positive changes, deepening rapport, polish communication skills and achieve goals. In a business environment, NLP can dramatically increase performance, build cohesion within a team, increase flexibility on all levels and become a lot more influential – in short it is the perfect catalyst for professional success.

The meaning of the communication is the response it gets

The person with most flexibility of behavior can control the outcome of the interaction

NLP asks us a good question, “Is the meaning of communication what we intend to communicate or is it the response it gets?” Some people may think the former is true, but the fact is that we should adopt the empowering belief that the meaning of all communication is the response it gets. So for example if you intended to make someone laugh but ended up making him think that you wanted to offend him, then really that is what your communication meant. Period. Having this stance also teaches us to take more responsibility for how we communicate and for the messages we send across. Once we take responsibility for the communication, we place ourselves in position of power and control.

There are basically just two ways to go about this – either you take responsibility of the message received or you play the blame game (its his fault he didn’t get it). The former option is, no doubt, the better option and it’s a good idea to invoke this curious state of mind by asking yourself the question, “I wonder how else I can say this so that he will get IT?” Asking this question removes all judgment and replaces it with a free-flowing, flexible and receptive state of mind.

So, it’s obvious that where some schools of thought are of the opinion that each party is responsible for 50% of the communication, NLP aims higher by pushing up that number to 100%. The ability to take 100% responsibility is what sets the average communicators apart from the great communicators – may they be in the form of teachers, coaches, attorneys, speakers, parents or mentors. For example, if a great communicator finds her class falling asleep, she would immediately ask herself, “what can I do to make this session more interesting and engaging?”

It’s worth noting here that the word “communication” pertains to all forms of communication – email, phone, chat and face to face communication. It is also worth noting that this NLP principle holds true in a more wider context as well – meaning that we can even choose to look at our lives, our relationships, our finances and our health and ask ourselves if we are really getting the type of response we desire on a more generic level. Maybe your relationships are cold, or your finances are down or you are suffering from frequent health problems – these are all responses and in either case the best solution is to get curious and ask, “I wonder what I can do to change these responses?”

There is no failure only feedback

We will either find a way, or make one…

NLP teaches us the skill of taking responsibility in every situation and on every level. One of the most powerful NLP principles is “there is no failure, only feedback” – when looked at from a communications perspective, NLP says that if the person you are communicating with does not respond to you in a manner that you would like him/her to then that is entirely your responsibility. The fact that the other person did indeed give some “response” means that the way in which you have communicated so far has not worked – but it also means that if you use that “response” as feedback, you will then be in a position to continuously mold and change your communication until the desired outcome is achieved.

Therefore, whatever you are getting in terms of responses simply adds to the feedback and gives you the freedom to chop, change, experiment and be creative with your approach until something clicks. This powerful NLP principle is not only limited to communication; in fact, it holds true for each and every form of human engagement – this can be used to overcome problems at work, ironing out issues with your relationships and achieving short term and long term goals – even goals that you may have even given up on.

It seems as if Thomas Edison may have unconsciously been an NLP exponent because when he failed nine hundred and ninety nine times in his attempt to invent the lamp; he didn’t call it “failure”, rather he chose to call it nine hundred and ninety nine wrong ways of inventing the lamp. By the same token, the rejection letter is not failure; it’s just a note telling you that you should work harder or do something different the next time around. Similarly the bankrupt business is probably a practical lesson in the mechanics and art of doing business and the failed exam is probably an indication that you are in the wrong field of study.

This is exactly what Einstein meant when he said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This is analogous to the fly, who in can attempt to fly out of the glass window, bumped itself against the glass so many times that it fell unconscious – if only the fly would step back, look around, view his previous attempts as feedback and look for another way out.

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